...because I'm 24 years old, and my generation is doomed.
Romance is dead, and the roles have changed to where we do not really know who is who anymore. Processed foods have packed on estrogen to make men as emotional as we've ever been: women know, beyond any shadow of doubt, that they do rule the world. The divorce rate is over 50%. Spontaneous sex has lost its luster and has become an empty experience, comparable only to a short-lived drug high or a $600 government reimbursement; a temporary fix to a more permanent problem.
More victims of heartbreak appear every day, if you listen to the lyrics,or take a good, close look at our fashion and our lifestyle. And I'll be damned if I can at least vent about all of it since I can't change a thing about any of it. At least not now.
You may disagree or may think I am dead-on. I guess it depends upon which side of the fence you're standing on, today. I'm not saying happy and successful relationships don't exist. I'm just saying that the majority of the people in my generation are constantly bitching. Complacency is usually found in having options, and that's simply because people do not know how to collaborate in a relationship.
So what makes me the expert?
Years of working in both nightlife and fashion has given me a front row seat to the self-indulgent narcissists of my generation. Plus, I'm a cynic. It's hard not to be. Gas is $4 a gallon, our economy is shit, the music is bad, and New York singles are crazy.
I also feel like I have seen a lot. I am a product of a so-called broken marriage, but that's not what broke me. Both of my parents have found love and family with great success. My father is where I get my pessimism. After his divorce he swore he would never re-marry. He found lasting love while waiting on an elevator. My mother rekindled a relationship she had prior to meeting my father. They both couldn't be happier.
By no means am I perfect. I am stubborn and insecure. I drink too much,overcompensate, and never give the benefit of the doubt. I am the kind of guy who often requires a disclaimer from someone prior to an introduction. Furthermore, every time I think I find what I want, I apply too much pressure. That's just me. I have a laundry list of red flags. Why can I be judgmental on my generation when it comes to meeting the opposite sex? Most likely because I have spent a lot of time on each side of the fence: experiencing serious relationships and being single...each in the fullest sense of the word. And let me tell you, it's a jungle out there. New York City is filled with cougars, snakes, gorillas, and other vicious creatures, some of whom are hell-bent on killing each other through Darwinism and dinner dates. It's survival of the fittest....but who pays the checks?
The purpose of this blog is to comment on some of the experiences I, or some I've met, have gone through. Most of the names will be changed to protect the not-so-innocent. You may be fascinated, disgusted, amused or appalled, but at least you'll be something. Maybe this will illicit some sympathy for the guy you've loved to hate, or the girl you've never understood. Maybe this will just serve as entertainment. Maybe you'll tell me your story. Either way you've made it this far, and I'm sure we will be seeing a lot of each other.
-J
ROMANCE IS DEAD ONLY TO THOSE NOT LIVING.
ReplyDeleteTo start, I enjoyed reading this. Now let’s get down to business.
To make the argument that ROMANCE is dead further illustrates the existence of social norms, and only exemplifies the notion of how programmable and susceptible we all are to outsider belief and opinion. Romance is not dead because we as a species have grown tired of the emotional feelings associated with it. The feelings of empathy, trust, and loving unconditionally are infinite. The archetypes of such feelings will never wither away. The journey of acquiring such feelings is innate in all of us. ROMANCE is dead because we’ve been successfully programmed to de-value our values and in return, have had our eyes opened to an extravagant, enticing world of luxury, lust, and an unfortunate empty ideal of love.
My argument on social norms is such: Your world is what your world is, to you. We almost too often forget the almost-too-obvious fact that we are part of the animal kingdom. Forget your name, Jaron, Jason, Justin. Your name is Homosapien, congratulations! You run in herds, just like gazelles, in this fast-paced NY marathon, or would it be appropriate to compare us to lions, in our Pride, almost too perfect a word to describe the overcompensating NY male. Fact of the matter is we surround ourselves with those we are most alike, or those who we aspire to be, for one reason or another. While within our Prides, our minds and belief systems begin to meld together. Now, if the general idea of your Pride, of your social group, is that Romance is dead, IF ROMANCE IS DEAD IN THE WORLD YOU CHOOSE TO LIVE IN, and you lack the pride in yourself to maintain your own belief, then I’m sorry, friend, but ROMANCE IS DEAD TO YOU. You’ve succumbed to the petty world or false-truths, empty promises, and loneliness. Maybe you should have picked up a book, or navigated to therealnews.com, to indulge your mind in truths, instead of blasting away perfectly functioning neurons in your brain worrying about what outfit Lauren Conrad will be wearing to her next event. You’ve been sucked in and programmed to forget what is most important, and have been stupefied in believing that material objects and tangibles are commensurate to self-worth. What most have difficulty realizing is that by allowing yourself to indulge in this craziness only reinforces your warped belief system and enigmatic self-questioning to a deeper level.
Ah, like always, I’ve become bored.
I’m tired and have a packed bowl hollering at me. I will leave this blog today with one message to all….
Just live your life. Stop worrying, stop searching…you will find. Stop trying to one-up the person next to you. Live beside each other, not on top. Quantum mechanics has now proven, through rigorous theoretical and mathematical calculations, that on a sub-atomic level, we are all connected. Stop trying to disconnect nature. Live naturally and let it flow. Let it fucking flow, and enjoy all this experience we dubbed life has to offer. Focker, out. Challah.
After reading what I have just written, I'd like to say that the "you" I am referring to is in no way directed to the author of this site. It is meant to be a generic "you" describing all of "yous" :)......and me
ReplyDeleteJayC-
ReplyDeleteI agree with a lot of what you said. Regarding the reference to social norms and devaluing values, it could not have been explained any better. And yes, romance is dead to me, but not because of the world I choose to live in. Personally, most of my closest friends are in relationships, many of them happy ones. Romance does exist between them. By saying it is dead I don’t deny its existence. However to say that these have been romance’s glory days would be unjust.
Rising above these situations takes time, and often maturity. The older people get the more it becomes apparent that certain ways they are living are detrimental to their thought processes and value systems. Some can separate their lifestyle from their thought processes, indulging their minds in truth while enjoying the enticing world you suggest. However as a result they expose themselves to certain people who cannot differentiate between the two, and that’s where it becomes dangerous. In some senses we are like a pride, but it is our ability to reason that often makes us restless.
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ReplyDeleteReminds me of a male version of Carry Bradshaw's column "Sex and the City". The writing is so good I read part of it to my parents since they were wondering what I was laughing about sitting in the living room, home for the holidays. Yours is obviously a cynical outlook, but I don't think it's unwarranted. I think it's sad that to meet people we go to crowded rooms where a beer is $10 and we have to drink to fit in or have the 'balls' to talk to the opposite sex and possibly more, but I do still believe in romance. I think you just have to look a lot harder these days. I felt like you were purposefully being overly cynical for humor purposes though, is that not the case?
ReplyDelete