HERE via cnn.com.
The string section may now return to its regularly scheduled sexual activity.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
You can't serve it unless you can swallow it...
I spend a lot of time talking about how insane most single New York women are, but do not get it confused. They are that way for a reason. Some may be blissfully ignorant, but others are running for the hills due to the caliber of men available to them. Enter Amanda Stiles, who recently found me on Facebook (gotta love the social network!), and blessed my life with her blog "Online Dating: The Bad, the Worse, and the Hilarious." Check it out here.
Guys: start acting right and avoid unnecessary humiliation.
Amanda: give me a call.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Shout! Shout! Let it all out...
Guys, I uploaded this swift new shoutbox on the blog so that you can get some words out in dialogue.
Those who know me also know I'm heavy into music so I may drop a gem or two on there for you to download.
The blog has been growing every day and I'm so happy that you are all a part of it.
-J
Those who know me also know I'm heavy into music so I may drop a gem or two on there for you to download.
The blog has been growing every day and I'm so happy that you are all a part of it.
-J
Face to Facebook
While I was taking time off work and internet stalking yesterday (guilty as charged), I noticed someone’s status update that posed an interesting question.
“Sara is wondering if we even need 10 year high school reunions after facebook.”
It got me to thinking about exactly how internet databases, Facebook being the primary, have affected our daily lives. It allows us to make connections with old friends, to date, to find others with similar hobbies, and to expand businesses from small to large. Hell, it may have even helped win a Presidential election last year. There is no question it has helped shape the way we perceive people and the way we communicate in some very positive ways. But do we not realize how incredibly impersonal these databases can be?
As usual, there are a couple of things that frustrate me. Allow me to elaborate.
I’ll start at the most mundane but most annoying factions of the database’s impact: can we please stop with the applications? It is not going to change my life if you throw a snowball at me, hug me, kiss me, buy me a drink, or poke me on the internet. It’s the internet. You cannot throw a snowball at me from your computer. I am not closing my eyes and imagining you throwing a snowball at me while I’m taking a break from resuscitating my accounts or writing rants. I do not need the snowball update on my blackberry while I’m out having drinks or spending time with my family. Quite frankly, fuck your snowball.
Continuing on, please listen carefully. If you are not a model, meaning if you do not get paid to take pictures, please don’t put your inaccurate, doctored –up glamour shot on your homepage to deceive us all. If this sounds shallow I don’t apologize. I think I speak for anyone who has ever decided that it was OK to invite a friend of a friend out based upon an attractive default picture and was severely let down. I consider it a lie to post those pictures, and I don’t like liars. There, depth satisfied.
Then there’s this new phenomenon called Facebook chat. I actually love this application since it has helped me reconnect with some amazing people that I have met along my way. But I’m kicked off more than Florida Gators football (meaning they score a lot of touchdowns). It’s usually right when I’m about to make a great point or say something funny. Looks like the joke is on me.
Now before everyone tells me how angry I sound, I’ll say this clearly. I do not hate Facebook. I happen to like it, and those that are simliar (myspace, smallworld, twitter, etc.). I will not pretend that I am not on my pages daily (although the dating sites are not for me), or that I haven’t used them to get my words out or help myself in my small projects. I also love to learn about some of my friends’ great ideas and/or projects. My mom's even on Facebook. But getting back to the original status update, my point is that I hope that we don’t forget the benefit of human interaction. It’s part of why the romance is suffering. It’s difficult to create a real relationship over the web just like it’s hard to throw a snowball, and with so much information at your fingertips, it’s hard not to have attention deficit disorder. It might be better to spend more time face to face with people, and a little less time face to Facebook.
“Sara is wondering if we even need 10 year high school reunions after facebook.”
It got me to thinking about exactly how internet databases, Facebook being the primary, have affected our daily lives. It allows us to make connections with old friends, to date, to find others with similar hobbies, and to expand businesses from small to large. Hell, it may have even helped win a Presidential election last year. There is no question it has helped shape the way we perceive people and the way we communicate in some very positive ways. But do we not realize how incredibly impersonal these databases can be?
As usual, there are a couple of things that frustrate me. Allow me to elaborate.
I’ll start at the most mundane but most annoying factions of the database’s impact: can we please stop with the applications? It is not going to change my life if you throw a snowball at me, hug me, kiss me, buy me a drink, or poke me on the internet. It’s the internet. You cannot throw a snowball at me from your computer. I am not closing my eyes and imagining you throwing a snowball at me while I’m taking a break from resuscitating my accounts or writing rants. I do not need the snowball update on my blackberry while I’m out having drinks or spending time with my family. Quite frankly, fuck your snowball.
Continuing on, please listen carefully. If you are not a model, meaning if you do not get paid to take pictures, please don’t put your inaccurate, doctored –up glamour shot on your homepage to deceive us all. If this sounds shallow I don’t apologize. I think I speak for anyone who has ever decided that it was OK to invite a friend of a friend out based upon an attractive default picture and was severely let down. I consider it a lie to post those pictures, and I don’t like liars. There, depth satisfied.
Then there’s this new phenomenon called Facebook chat. I actually love this application since it has helped me reconnect with some amazing people that I have met along my way. But I’m kicked off more than Florida Gators football (meaning they score a lot of touchdowns). It’s usually right when I’m about to make a great point or say something funny. Looks like the joke is on me.
Now before everyone tells me how angry I sound, I’ll say this clearly. I do not hate Facebook. I happen to like it, and those that are simliar (myspace, smallworld, twitter, etc.). I will not pretend that I am not on my pages daily (although the dating sites are not for me), or that I haven’t used them to get my words out or help myself in my small projects. I also love to learn about some of my friends’ great ideas and/or projects. My mom's even on Facebook. But getting back to the original status update, my point is that I hope that we don’t forget the benefit of human interaction. It’s part of why the romance is suffering. It’s difficult to create a real relationship over the web just like it’s hard to throw a snowball, and with so much information at your fingertips, it’s hard not to have attention deficit disorder. It might be better to spend more time face to face with people, and a little less time face to Facebook.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Hello 2009.
I must apologize for the posting delay: brain on hiatus due to the abundance of tiny dresses, rooftop mojitos, and Ed Hardy in South Beach. Happy New Year to me.
After watching the turd drop from 2007's proverbial anus that became 2008, I couldn't help but to be optimistic for the year ahead. 2009 started changing even before it became official, from Lindsey Lohan's sexual orientation to the increased responsibility of Hockey Moms. There's also this guy Obama that's about to be sworn in to The House, making middle-Americans everywhere lament at their nearest Mickey-D's over their Big Mac's and refillable fountain sodas.
So we start the year with “sanitation engineers” (read: the garbage men) having more job security than some of our country's smartest and most insightful salespeople, analysts, and executives. And yet, I attended a New Years event where many of the newly unemployed spent over $20,000 drinking away their sorrows and self-hatred, and paying for sexual favors. My optimism is at peak when I think of how great it will be for these unfortunate fellows to regain their jobs and raise the bar on that spending habit.
But I digress: my optimism is truly reflected in some predictions I made for American society. If these come true, I for one will be fine in '09.
1)"The Hipster" will finally hit the full-on mainstream market and take over all forms of retail including (but not limited to) JC Penny, TJ Maxx, and Marshalls. Suddenly, my vintage Fubu Fat Albert attire will be considered a fashion-forward approach. Hey hey hey.
After watching the turd drop from 2007's proverbial anus that became 2008, I couldn't help but to be optimistic for the year ahead. 2009 started changing even before it became official, from Lindsey Lohan's sexual orientation to the increased responsibility of Hockey Moms. There's also this guy Obama that's about to be sworn in to The House, making middle-Americans everywhere lament at their nearest Mickey-D's over their Big Mac's and refillable fountain sodas.
So we start the year with “sanitation engineers” (read: the garbage men) having more job security than some of our country's smartest and most insightful salespeople, analysts, and executives. And yet, I attended a New Years event where many of the newly unemployed spent over $20,000 drinking away their sorrows and self-hatred, and paying for sexual favors. My optimism is at peak when I think of how great it will be for these unfortunate fellows to regain their jobs and raise the bar on that spending habit.
But I digress: my optimism is truly reflected in some predictions I made for American society. If these come true, I for one will be fine in '09.
1)"The Hipster" will finally hit the full-on mainstream market and take over all forms of retail including (but not limited to) JC Penny, TJ Maxx, and Marshalls. Suddenly, my vintage Fubu Fat Albert attire will be considered a fashion-forward approach. Hey hey hey.
2) The popular phrase will change from "That's Busch League" to "That's Bush League." The meaning, however, will remain the same.
3) Dora the Explorer's sidekick, Diego, will get his own show called Diego the Adventurer. And when he gets on, he'll leave her ass for a white girl.
4) Rod Blagojevich will sell his soul to the devil for an additional term as Illinois governor and the daily special at SuperCuts.
5) Kanye West will make a country music album that applies to all genres. He will call it "Achey-Breaky Heartbreak," making Miley twitch while she's sitting on her dad's lap naked, and it will sell a million in its first week.
6) The 80's wave will die when VH1's latest reality show "Milli Vanilli: Faking Fame and Finding Real Love" debuts. Tweens everywhere will be lip-syncing "Blame it on the Rain," while marveling at the sexual prowess of their flowing (blonde!) dreads.
7) Left-wing fanatics will terror-bomb Hummer drivers on sight.
8) The BCS will have a playoff system. Right, Barack?
9) We will be financially sound, after we are bailed out when we finally find me Lucky Charms.
10) The return of Dave Chapelle.
Hey, a guy can dream, can’t he? Maybe 2009 is the year where this cynic sees the light at the end of the tunnel. Now that you have my predictions, I welcome you to write your own.
Happy ’09.
-J
-J
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